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My confidence is shaky, my nerve is failing.
Running round in circles, wondering what I've done wrong.
No way to be certain, no way to be sure.
Only sign of my wasting is I feel insecure.
Time to smile, put on a happy face.
But inside I'm crying, can't find my place.
World isn't cruel, we make it seem so.
Only wish is that I knew right from wrong.
No idea what I've done or where I went wrong.
Seems to late to tell me, I feel too far gone.
I want to be wrong, I want to be well.
But the thoughts inside me don't sit very well.
Time to play happy, time to play dumb.
No need for people to know I feel numb.
Running round in circles, wondering what I've done wrong.
No way to be certain, no way to be sure.
Only sign of my wasting is I feel insecure.
Time to smile, put on a happy face.
But inside I'm crying, can't find my place.
World isn't cruel, we make it seem so.
Only wish is that I knew right from wrong.
No idea what I've done or where I went wrong.
Seems to late to tell me, I feel too far gone.
I want to be wrong, I want to be well.
But the thoughts inside me don't sit very well.
Time to play happy, time to play dumb.
No need for people to know I feel numb.
Job-seeking... How I loathe thee...
Jun. 12th, 2009 01:20 pmJob-seeking is the reason I don't get my paperwork done at the moment.
I spend so much time filling in application forms and "skill set" sheets and all the other nonsense they bring out, that I can't be fucked to sit down and write a summary of the games I run.
Having to write down every job-seeking activity I do, but only being given 9 spaces for two weeks is likewise depressing. I'm fairly sure I had to be doing at least 10 every two weeks...
Not to mention the long, depressing, soul-destroying waits at the Job Centre. Waiting 20 minutes for a 5 minute sign-on is just... ...and that's if I'm lucky.
I've had one interview in 5 months. And that was for the job that ended up killing me.
I'm still waiting to hear about my benefits claim, so I have no idea if I'm getting money or not. And if I'm not, I'm so screwed it's not funny.
I rarely if ever get replies to my applications. And when I do, they're always a "sorry, but your application has not been progressed at this time..." or "you don't meet the minimum requirements for any of our open positions at this time..."
I'm going to the Job Centre to sign on today. I will once again be asking about my benefits claim. If they tell me that it's still being processed (4-6 weeks processing and this is the end of the 5th week by my count), I'm going to have to turn around and say "Well, I'm going to have to go back to McDonalds again then." Because if I don't do that, and don't get the benefits, then I will be so screwed it's not funny because I won't have a hope in hell of paying my bills never mind my rent. I currently have £1.41 in my bank account. £1.41. And that's the bottom of my £2k overdraft. I also got a phone call this morning saying that I was going to be getting £45 charged to my account soon. Oh, and I need to sort out things with Lothian Buses before my Ridacard stops working due to the bounced payment this month...
So yeh, not having the best time at the moment. And if it keeps up like this... well my parents can't afford to bail me out again. And neither can my flatmates. And besides that, I've borrowed too much money off of people to borrow more until its all paid off.
I spend so much time filling in application forms and "skill set" sheets and all the other nonsense they bring out, that I can't be fucked to sit down and write a summary of the games I run.
Having to write down every job-seeking activity I do, but only being given 9 spaces for two weeks is likewise depressing. I'm fairly sure I had to be doing at least 10 every two weeks...
Not to mention the long, depressing, soul-destroying waits at the Job Centre. Waiting 20 minutes for a 5 minute sign-on is just... ...and that's if I'm lucky.
I've had one interview in 5 months. And that was for the job that ended up killing me.
I'm still waiting to hear about my benefits claim, so I have no idea if I'm getting money or not. And if I'm not, I'm so screwed it's not funny.
I rarely if ever get replies to my applications. And when I do, they're always a "sorry, but your application has not been progressed at this time..." or "you don't meet the minimum requirements for any of our open positions at this time..."
I'm going to the Job Centre to sign on today. I will once again be asking about my benefits claim. If they tell me that it's still being processed (4-6 weeks processing and this is the end of the 5th week by my count), I'm going to have to turn around and say "Well, I'm going to have to go back to McDonalds again then." Because if I don't do that, and don't get the benefits, then I will be so screwed it's not funny because I won't have a hope in hell of paying my bills never mind my rent. I currently have £1.41 in my bank account. £1.41. And that's the bottom of my £2k overdraft. I also got a phone call this morning saying that I was going to be getting £45 charged to my account soon. Oh, and I need to sort out things with Lothian Buses before my Ridacard stops working due to the bounced payment this month...
So yeh, not having the best time at the moment. And if it keeps up like this... well my parents can't afford to bail me out again. And neither can my flatmates. And besides that, I've borrowed too much money off of people to borrow more until its all paid off.
I read things on the Acer website wrong. So am currently on phone to Acer. Long hold time...
Crappy hold music. At least this might mean not being able to find the receipt isn't a terrible thing.
And I was on hold so long they put me to voicemail. Which was full. Hmm...
*phones back*
Crappy hold music. At least this might mean not being able to find the receipt isn't a terrible thing.
And I was on hold so long they put me to voicemail. Which was full. Hmm...
*phones back*
People have been telling me to do a real post for ages, and so here it is...
Basically, I quit McDonalds at the end of March. This was to go into the opportunity of "Trainee Sales Manager". Turns out that "Trainee Sales Manager" actually means there's a 6-stage development programme reminiscent of a pyramid scheme that involves 10-11 hour days. Also means I'm self-employed and purely "paid" from the commissions I earn. This has been repeatedly wiping me out in more ways than one.
Today, I went into work, told them I intended to pack it in and as a result am on a leave of sorts while I decide what I want to do. Incidentally, I think McDonalds still have me as an employee on the system because I think Ali's fudging things so her numbers look better. I'm probably going to phone McDonalds HR with my concerns going "I left last month and I'm still getting McTime texts and I know I'm on the rota as being 'on holiday' - want to tell her off?"
So, had a good day today involving much shopping and purchasing of books.
Until I get home from Forsaken that is. Because I take my laptop out of my bag, switch it on and go "why isn't it working?" Screen's fucked. Or the graphics card is. Or something is and the screen is suffering as a result. Either way it seems I have to take it to Comet and go "fix plz". I seem to remember that not going well last time I tried it. May also involve finding the receipt...
ETA: Incidentally, my friends are awesome. Off the top of my head... Rick, Kat and Mags - thanks :D
ETA2: Also, Ruth is uber-awesome
Basically, I quit McDonalds at the end of March. This was to go into the opportunity of "Trainee Sales Manager". Turns out that "Trainee Sales Manager" actually means there's a 6-stage development programme reminiscent of a pyramid scheme that involves 10-11 hour days. Also means I'm self-employed and purely "paid" from the commissions I earn. This has been repeatedly wiping me out in more ways than one.
Today, I went into work, told them I intended to pack it in and as a result am on a leave of sorts while I decide what I want to do. Incidentally, I think McDonalds still have me as an employee on the system because I think Ali's fudging things so her numbers look better. I'm probably going to phone McDonalds HR with my concerns going "I left last month and I'm still getting McTime texts and I know I'm on the rota as being 'on holiday' - want to tell her off?"
So, had a good day today involving much shopping and purchasing of books.
Until I get home from Forsaken that is. Because I take my laptop out of my bag, switch it on and go "why isn't it working?" Screen's fucked. Or the graphics card is. Or something is and the screen is suffering as a result. Either way it seems I have to take it to Comet and go "fix plz". I seem to remember that not going well last time I tried it. May also involve finding the receipt...
ETA: Incidentally, my friends are awesome. Off the top of my head... Rick, Kat and Mags - thanks :D
ETA2: Also, Ruth is uber-awesome
